すみません, すいません, ごめん: apologizing, thanking and getting attention
Why one word covers "sorry", "thanks" and "excuse me", why you mostly hear it as すいません, and when a quick ごめん is all you need.
Ukeru notes · counts are from the current library (1,905 routines, 174,812 machine-transcribed lines) and update as it grows
One word, three jobs
Textbooks usually introduce すみません as "I'm sorry" or "excuse me", and move on. Real speech asks it to do more. The same word waves down a waiter, apologizes for a mistake and thanks someone who went out of their way for you. And out loud it often doesn't sound like すみません at all: it sounds like すいません. Among friends, it often gives way to ごめん.
The counts below come from machine-made transcripts of the 1,905 routines in our library, so read them as rough guides rather than exact figures.
Why すみません can mean "thanks"
すみません comes from the verb 済む, "to be settled" or "to be finished". The idea behind it is roughly "this isn't settled": you owe someone and haven't made it even. That one feeling covers all three jobs:
- Apologizing: 遅れてすみません。 "Sorry I'm late." You caused trouble.
- Getting attention: すみません、駅はどこですか？ "Excuse me, where's the station?" You're about to cause a little trouble.
- Thanking: わざわざすみません。 "Thank you for going to the trouble." Someone took trouble for you.
The thanking use is the one learners miss. When someone holds a door, picks up something you dropped or brings you tea, すみません is a very natural reply. It carries a hint of "sorry to bother you" that ありがとう does not. Many people simply say both: すみません、ありがとうございます。
For something that is already over, add でした: 昨日はすみませんでした, "I'm sorry about yesterday". Stack どうも on the front for extra weight, as in どうもすみません.
すいません: the spoken form
Say すみません quickly and the み tends to soften into い. The result, すいません, is not slang. It is simply how many people pronounce the word at normal speed, including in polite situations.
In our library, すいません appears on 865 lines from 175 comedians, and すみません on 349 lines from 108. That's roughly 2 to 1 in favor of the spoken form. Keep in mind that the transcripts are machine-made, so the choice of spelling partly depends on how the software heard each line. Still, the gap is large enough to suggest that すいません is what you'll mostly hear.
In the sample lines you hear the attention-getter (ちょっとすいません before a question to a stranger), the apology and the flustered, repeated すいませんすいません. The すいません page collects scenes.
Lost among people in very bold fashion, the speaker decides to ask the next person who comes by for directions.
Culture note The speaker uses Kansai dialect: よーわからん = よく分からない, 多ない = 多くない.
あすいません
Oh, excuse me.
Textbookあ、すみません。「すみません」 loosens to 「すいません」 in everyday speech (the 'm' sound drops). Here it's 'excuse me' to stop a stranger.
One practical point: in writing, especially emails and anything formal, use すみません. すいません is written in chat messages and in transcripts of speech, but in formal writing it can look careless.
ごめん, ごめんね, ごめんなさい
ごめん comes from 御免, "pardon", and it is the everyday apology between people who are close. It turns up on 1,144 lines in our library, from 194 of the 283 comedians. That count includes all its variations:
- ごめん: short and quick. "Sorry." Also doubles as "my bad".
- ごめんね: softer and warmer, with ね asking the listener to take it kindly. See よ, ね, な, ぞ, ぜ, わ for what ね is doing.
- ごめんなさい: fuller and a little more earnest. It's the one children are taught, and adults use it too when they really mean it. It is still personal rather than businesslike, though. You'd say it to a friend you let down, not in a formal work apology.
Unlike すみません, ごめん is mainly an apology. It can soften thanks among friends, as in わざわざごめんね, but it doesn't replace ありがとう. It also works as a cushion before bad news or an interruption: ごめん、ちょっといい？ "Sorry, got a sec?" and ごめん、無理。 "Sorry, can't." You can hear it used this way in the sample lines too, as a quick "sorry, but…" before the real point.
The formal end: 申し訳ありません
When すみません is not enough, Japanese steps up to 申し訳ありません or, even more formally, 申し訳ございません, literally "there is no excuse". Put 大変 in front for a serious apology: 大変申し訳ございません。
This family is much rarer in our library: 148 lines. Several of the sample lines sound like shop staff apologizing to a customer, which fits: this is the language of service counters, business calls and public apologies. The plain version 申し訳ない is used in speech too, as a heartfelt "I feel terrible about it" among people you know.
A rough ladder
| Form | Feel | Typical use |
|---|---|---|
| ごめん／ごめんね | casual, close | friends, family, partners |
| ごめんなさい | sincere, personal | a real personal apology |
| すいません | polite, spoken | strangers, coworkers, shops |
| すみません | polite, standard | same, and in writing |
| 申し訳ない | earnest | "I feel really bad" |
| 申し訳ございません | formal | customers, bosses, business |
Using them yourself
- Strangers, shop staff, anyone older or senior: すみません (or すいません out loud). It's also your default "excuse me" for getting attention anywhere.
- Coworkers you're friendly with: すみません is still the safe choice. You'll hear ごめん between close colleagues, but let them set the tone first.
- Friends and family: ごめん or ごめんね. Using すみません with a close friend can sound oddly distant, or like you're joking.
- A mistake at work: 申し訳ありません. With customers or in truly formal settings, use 申し訳ございません.
- To thank: すみません works for small favors from anyone. With friends, just use ありがとう; ごめん on its own won't do that job. See ありがと／あざす.
Whichever you pick, a small bow and a softer voice do half the work.
Try it
- Search the library for すいません and すみません, and sort a handful of lines into apologizing, thanking and getting attention.
- Search for ごめん and 申し訳, and for each line ask who is talking to whom. Then say it again one step up or down the ladder.
- Watch the scenes on すいません and repeat each すいません at the speaker's speed.