Ukeru · real Japanese from comedy
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Your textbook says
どうして

Textbook Japanese, the way comedians really say it

Look up a form you learned. Watch real Japanese comedians say it on stage, biggest laughs first. Tap any line to hear it again, slower if you need, and keep it. Ukeru (ウケる) means “to get a laugh”. Free while we build it.

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283comedians
1,905routines
174,812lines transcribed
401scenes with video
Audience laughter in this scene0:09
Tartar Kansu · At the Beach

Two people are losing it over something they think is incredibly rare.

Culture note Suikawari is a Japanese summer beach game where a blindfolded person tries to smash a watermelon with a stick.

The words appear when the audience laughs.

Why would we do that, man?!

Textbookどうしてそうなるんですか。Casual 「なんで」 replaces 「どうして」; 「だよ」 adds a pushy plain-form punch, and 「お前」 is a blunt 'you' used between friends.

Tone: Rude (between friends)Speed: normal
More なんで →
All lines

Both columns are real Japanese: the textbook form is never wrong. The stage form is casual, and some are rough, so check the tag before you copy one.

Start here

Sixteen textbook swaps

Sixteen things a textbook teaches one way and people say another, starting from the basics.

  1. 1“no, no…” to start a comebackEveryday6 scenes4,413 lines
  2. 2“why?!”Everyday5 scenes2,186 lines
  3. 3casual “-ing?” questionsCasual5 scenes1,230 lines
  4. 4“isn’t it?” / rough “isn’t”Casual5 scenes6,533 lines
  5. 5explaining, insisting, complainingCasual6 scenes5,611 lines
  6. 6“oops, I ended up…”Everyday6 scenes1,503 lines
  7. 7asking a favor, casuallyFriends only2 scenes100 lines
  8. 8the “seriously?!” comebackFriends only6 scenes328 lines
  9. 9“come on, right?!”Friends only6 scenes1,723 lines
  10. 10“gotta…”Everyday4 scenes366 lines
  11. 11“kind of like…”Everyday4 scenes2,116 lines
  12. 12“…again?” when you forgotEveryday5 scenes295 lines
  13. 13“nothing but…”Everyday6 scenes226 lines
  14. 14“for real?”Casual5 scenes912 lines
  15. 15“you can’t do that!”Casual6 scenes215 lines
  16. 16“wild / amazing / bad”Casual6 scenes520 lines

How people really talk

The next layer after the basics: squeezed endings, fillers, and the rough words for “you” and “I” that fill every routine.

  1. ·“is doing / has done”Everyday6 scenes4,225 lines
  2. ·“do it ahead / leave it”Everyday6 scenes114 lines
  3. ·rough “not”Friends only6 scenes542 lines
  4. ·“I don’t get it”Casual6 scenes755 lines
  5. ·“boring / lame”Friends only6 scenes73 lines
  6. ·“like… / kind of”Everyday4 scenes2,269 lines
  7. ·“you” (rough)Just recognize6 scenes6,652 lines
  8. ·“I, me” (casual, male)Casual6 scenes5,582 lines
  9. ·“really / seriously”Everyday5 scenes122 lines
  10. ·“as I thought / after all”Everyday6 scenes673 lines
  11. ·“not at all / totally”Everyday4 scenes63 lines
  12. ·“right?” / “I told you!”Everyday4 scenes1,660 lines
  13. ·“you know how…”Everyday5 scenes653 lines
  14. ·polite-ish, junior styleJust recognize5 scenes414 lines
  15. ·“don’t!” (rough)Friends only4 scenes401 lines
  16. ·“can’t (stand to)…”Casual6 scenes39 lines
  17. ·“…so there!” (giving a reason)Casual5 scenes641 lines
  18. ·“maybe”Everyday5 scenes227 lines
  19. ·“this way / which one”Everyday5 scenes1,317 lines
  20. ·“well, of course…”Casual5 scenes164 lines
  21. ·“(I) said…”Everyday4 scenes1,255 lines
  22. ·“give me…” (casual)Friends only5 scenes65 lines
  23. ·“I wonder…”Everyday3 scenes965 lines
  24. ·“-ish, kind of like”Casual5 scenes137 lines
  25. ·“no way that…”Casual6 scenes572 lines
  26. ·“isn’t it?” / “see?” / “you know”Casual5 scenes2,035 lines
  27. ·“…and go” / “take along” / “keep on”Casual5 scenes88 lines
  28. ·strong “I’m telling you!” ending (rough)Casual4 scenes989 lines

Reactions and comebacks

The short words that carry a comedy duo: stopping, denying, gasping, giving up.

  1. ·“sorry / excuse me”, the spoken wayEveryday6 scenes865 lines
  2. ·“wait, hold on”Everyday6 scenes672 lines
  3. ·“no, that’s wrong”Casual6 scenes1,108 lines
  4. ·“stop it!”Casual5 scenes877 lines
  5. ·“shut up / you’re so annoying”Friends only6 scenes356 lines
  6. ·“wow / amazing”Casual6 scenes186 lines
  7. ·“no way!”Everyday3 scenes835 lines
  8. ·“well then / so”Everyday6 scenes2,700 lines
  9. ·“super, really”Casual6 scenes1,220 lines
  10. ·“enough! / forget it”Casual6 scenes478 lines
  11. ·“what is that?!”Casual6 scenes163 lines
  12. ·“I mean / or rather”Casual5 scenes226 lines
  13. ·“hey!”Friends only4 scenes634 lines
  14. ·“huh? that’s odd”Everyday5 scenes281 lines
  15. ·“oh, I see”Casual6 scenes146 lines
  16. ·“no way / I hate it”Casual6 scenes201 lines
  17. ·“thanks”Casual6 scenes50 lines
  18. ·“not really / whatever”Casual6 scenes421 lines
  19. ·“but… / because…”Casual5 scenes362 lines
  20. ·“no way… surely not”Everyday6 scenes111 lines
  21. ·“huh? / what?!”Everyday6 scenes2,361 lines
  22. ·“idiot” (between friends)Friends only3 scenes478 lines
  23. ·“yeah” / “nah”Casual6 scenes1,291 lines
  24. ·“look!” / “see?” / “here”Casual6 scenes320 lines

Osaka and Kansai Japanese

Many Japanese comedians perform in Kansai (Osaka-area) dialect. These are the words you will hear from them.

  1. ·“why the heck…?!” (Kansai)Friends only5 scenes12 lines
  2. ·“no good / you can’t” (Kansai)Casual4 scenes164 lines
  3. ·“really” (Kansai)Casual6 scenes144 lines
  4. ·“no, that’s wrong” (Kansai)Casual5 scenes25 lines
  5. ·“…you see” (Kansai)Casual3 scenes644 lines
  6. ·“not” (Kansai)Casual4 scenes359 lines
  7. ·“right? / come on!” (Kansai)Casual3 scenes689 lines
  8. ·“isn’t it? / come on” (Kansai)Casual5 scenes638 lines
  9. ·“funny / interesting” (Kansai)Casual5 scenes72 lines
  10. ·“that’s right” (Kansai)Casual5 scenes17 lines
  11. ·“good / fine” (Kansai)Casual6 scenes233 lines
  12. ·“is doing” (western Japan)Casual6 scenes133 lines
  13. ·“…but what do I know”Friends only1 scene38 lines
  14. ·“to be (there)” for people and animals (Kansai)Casual4 scenes166 lines

Our own selection, not an official JLPT or textbook list. Counts are from the current library and grow as more routines are transcribed. Live comedy: expect rough language and the odd insult.

How a line sticks

Laugh first

Every scene plays from the set-up. Watch it once for the joke. The words stay blurred until the audience laughs; “Show text now” opens them at any time.

Then read the line

Reading, meaning, and the textbook version it replaces, with a note on what changed.

Hear it again and again

Play all the scenes for one form: every comedian saying it, one after another. That is how it stops being grammar.

From learning to enjoying

You know the lines now. On owarai.ai, whole routines by Japanese comedians play with English subtitles, with new shows every week.

Watch Japanese comedy on owarai.ai →

Notes

What the numbers say about spoken Japanese.