Ukeru · real Japanese from comedy
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“you can’t do that!” · No. 15 of 16 textbook swaps
てはいけません→てはだめ→ちゃダメ

てはいけません is the rule in a book. ちゃダメ is the rule shouted at a partner on stage.

Use it withFriends OKCoworkers carefulBoss / teacher avoid

Fine with friends and kids. A little bossy for a coworker.

215 lines with 〜ちゃダメ from 111 comedians in the library · Counts updated 2026-10-07
Audience laughter in this scene0:18
Lemon to Tansan · I Want to Be King of the Pirates

A performer playing a pirate captain brags about the pirate ship and says a real company sponsors it.

Culture note NYK Line (Nippon Yusen) is one of Japan's biggest shipping companies, the kind of company whose cargo ships pirates attack.

The words appear when the audience laughs.

They're the LAST ones who should be funding you, man!

Textbookそこは一番出資してはいけない会社ですよ。'出資してはいけない' shrinks: 'ては' contracts to 'ちゃ' and blunt 'ダメ' replaces 'いけない', giving '出資しちゃダメ'.

Tone: Rude (お前, between partners)Speed: normal
All lines
Audience laughter in this scene0:14
Naname 45° · The Real Estate Agent

One performer brags that a place comes with a pool, and the other keeps joking that it's only a taxi pool.

Culture note In Japan, a 'taxi pool' is the waiting area where taxis line up, for example at a station.

The words appear when the audience laughs.

You can't do that, not without asking!

Textbookそれは勝手にやってはいけませんよ。「やってはいけません」 becomes 「やっちゃダメ」: ては contracts to ちゃ, いけません is swapped for casual ダメ, and 勝手に is tacked on as an afterthought.

Speed: fast
All lines
Audience laughter in this scene0:16
Uchimatsuge · The Cookie Shop

One performer doesn't want to run a cookie shop, but the partner keeps pitching one called 'Uncle Uchima's Homemade Cookies.'

The words appear when the audience laughs.

An uncle's not supposed to do stuff like this!

Textbookこういうことは、おじさんがやってはいけないのです。「やってはいけない」→「やっちゃいけない」: 「ては」 contracts to 「ちゃ」; with 「んだよ」 it's a blunt 'that's just not done'. Line 9 uses 「ちゃダメ」.

Speed: fast
All lines
Audience laughter in this scene0:22
Mind Steal · My Type

Talking about the type of person they'd like to date, one comedian compares relationships to a phone's glass screen protector.

The words appear when the audience laughs.

I really don't think you should say 'toss' when you're talking about your type.

Textbook僕は、好きなタイプの話で「捨てる」などと言ってはいけないと思います。「言っちゃいけない」 = 「言ってはいけない」: 「ては」 fuses into 「ちゃ」. Same squeeze as 「〜ちゃダメ」, just ending in 「いけない」 instead of 「ダメ」.

Speed: fast
All lines
Audience laughter in this scene0:17
Tartar Kansu · Wanting to Be Approached

One performer starts passing along a rumor that another guy goes to an underground casino.

The words appear when the audience laughs.

Don't go telling people, okay? It'll get around!

Textbookあまり言ってはいけませんよ。広まってしまいますから。「言ってはいけません」→「言っちゃダメ」: 「ては」 contracts to 「ちゃ」, 「いけません」 becomes 「ダメ」. Also 「あまり」→「あんま」, 「広まってしまう」→「広まっちゃう」.

Speed: fast
All lines
Audience laughter in this scene0:16
Naname 45° · The Speech

One performer keeps slipping into innuendo, saying Takuro shakes violently at night, and the other keeps trying to stop them.

The words appear when the audience laughs.

You can't say that now!

Textbook今それを言ってはいけませんよ。'言ってはダメ' fuses 'ては' into 'ちゃ': '言っちゃダメ'. Casual 'ダメ' (with plain 'だ') stands in for 'いけません', and the final 'よ' keeps the same firm warning tone as 'いけませんよ'.

Speed: fast
All lines

More lines with 〜ちゃダメ

From other routines in the library. Automatic transcripts, not yet checked line by line.

Quick answers

What does 〜ちゃダメ mean?

〜ちゃダメ means “you can’t do that!”. てはいけません is the rule in a book. ちゃダメ is the rule shouted at a partner on stage.

Is 〜ちゃダメ rude? Who can you say it to?

With friends: OK. With coworkers: careful. With a boss or teacher: avoid. Fine with friends and kids. A little bossy for a coworker.

How common is 〜ちゃダメ in real speech?

In 1,905 live comedy routines, 〜ちゃダメ appears in 215 lines from 111 comedians.

Sixteen textbook swaps