もう結構です → もういい

At the end of the sketch, one says their teamwork proves they are father and son, but the other refuses to accept it.

Culture note Japanese comedy duos often end a sketch with 'もういいよ' (enough already) before bowing out.

1. 0:01意外いがいと息いきぴったりだったWe were surprisingly in sync.
2. 0:02やっぱり親子おやこなんだなGuess we really are father and son.
3. 0:06認みとめてねえI don't accept that!
4. 0:07もういいよEnough already.
5. 0:08はい、七年四十五度のドバレルでした≈ unclear audioOkay, that was Naname 45°!

One performer insists the other is basically an alien, and the other fires back with a warning.

1. 0:00お前まえ!You!
2. 0:00お前まえなんなんマジ?Seriously, what is your deal?
3. 0:02だからもう宇宙うちゅう人にんなんだぞもうお前まえ!I'm telling you, you're basically an alien now!
4. 0:04お前まえそんなことばっか言いってるとなYou keep saying stuff like that, and...
5. 0:05なんだよ!And what?!
6. 0:06エレアンに連れ去られるぞ!≈ unclear audioprobably エイリアンに連れ去られるぞ!...aliens are gonna abduct you!
7. 0:08じゃあもう宇宙うちゅう人にんじゃねえかよSo it IS aliens, then!
8. 0:10もういいよEnough already.
9. 0:10どうもありがとうございましたThank you very much!
10. 0:11ありがとうございましたThank you!

The two argue over whether Junji really feels like summer, then one says they have a story of their own.

Culture note Junji Inagawa is a famous ghost-story teller whose TV shows and tours are a Japanese summer tradition.

1. 0:00順次出てきたら夏だろ!≈ unclear audioprobably 淳二出てきたら夏だろ!When Junji shows up, it's summer!
2. 0:02あの人ひとね、冬ふゆでもめちゃめちゃ活動かつどうしてんだよThat guy's actually super busy in winter, too, you know.
3. 0:04知しらないよ詳細しょうさいは!Like I know the details!
4. 0:05夏なつのイメージなの!He just feels like summer!
5. 0:07待まって待まって、俺おれ自分じぶんの話はなし一いち個こあるわ!Wait, wait, I've got one of my own!
6. 0:08もういいわ、どうせ夏なつだからForget it. It's gonna be summer anyway.
7. 0:10これで夏なつになっちゃったら、二人ふたりでどうする?If this ends up turning it into summer, what are the two of us gonna do?

One partner is lecturing the other at length on how a pun involving 'pants' should properly be made.

Culture note 'Hakichigaeru' (noun: 'hakichigai') literally means putting on the wrong footwear or clothes, and figuratively means to misunderstand. Since 'haku' is also the verb for wearing pants, it makes a natural pants pun.

1. 0:00パンツとかけたいなら履き違はきちがいでやれよIf you want to pun on 'pants,' use 'hakichigai,' wearing the wrong pair.
2. 0:03お前まえの中なかで食くうものになってるからBecause in your head, they've turned into something you eat.
3. 0:07かかってるつもりかもしれないけどYou might think it's a pun,
4. 0:08かかってないんだよbut it isn't.
5. 0:09履き違はきちがいで初はじめてかかってるのこれはIt only works as a pun with 'hakichigai.'
6. 0:11履き違いでパンツかけることをやる≈ unclear audioprobably 履き違いでパンツかけることをやるんだよYou do the pants pun with 'hakichigai.'
7. 0:13もういいわパンツの話はなしうるさいなEnough already, you're so annoying with the pants stuff.
8. 0:15あんたこうなっちゃうんだ≈ unclear audioprobably なんでこうなっちゃうんだWow, so this is what it comes to.
9. 0:17イタズラしたかっただけなのに俺おれはAnd all I wanted was to pull a little prank.
10. 0:18イタズラ?A prank?

A mother refuses to lend her child money and says to take responsibility for oneself.

1. 0:00とにかく本当ほんとうにお金かねは貸かせないからAnyway, I really can't lend you money.
2. 0:03自分じぶんの責任せきにんは自分じぶんで取とりなさいTake responsibility for yourself.
3. 0:08あの頃ころのお母ははさんなら絶対ぜったい貸かしてくれたのにThe mom you used to be would've totally lent it to me.
4. 0:13もういいFine, forget it.
5. 0:13私わたしこれから赤間あかまのことお母ははさんって呼よぶからFrom now on, I'm calling Akama "Mom."
6. 0:16何なん言いってるのWhat are you talking about?
7. 0:17もう勝手かってにしなさいFine, do whatever you want.

One comedian declares the aquarium date went perfectly, and the routine is about to wrap up.

1. 0:00まあまあまあ、水族すいぞく館かんデート完璧かんぺきだったねWell, well, well, that aquarium date was perfect, huh?
2. 0:02左ひだりは?What about the left?
3. 0:03左目ひだりめThe left eye.
4. 0:04左目ひだりめじゃないNot the left eye!
5. 0:04いいじゃねえにしろ≈ unclear audioIsn't that fine, either way?
6. 0:05もういいわEnough already!
7. 0:06もういいわEnough already!
8. 0:07どうもありがとうございましたThank you very much!