Ukeru · real Japanese from comedy
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Top Gun
14routines
1,611lines
13scenes

Their lines to steal

Stage forms this act uses in the library, and how often.

Scenes

Audience laughter in this scene0:18
Top Gun · The Potter's Fan

A customer who came to buy plates from a potter starts shouting strange chants, even as the potter phones the police.

Culture note The kappa, a creature from Japanese folklore, is pictured with a water-filled plate (sara) on top of its head.

The words appear when the audience laughs.

What are you doing?

Textbook何をしているのですか。Textbook 「何をしているのですか」: speech swaps 「する」 for 「やる」 (「やっている」) and drops 「を」; 「ている」 shrinks to 「てる」, 「てるの」 slurs into 「てんの」, and 「ですか」 drops entirely, so rising intonation alone marks the startled casual question.

Speed: normal
All lines
Audience laughter in this scene0:15
Top Gun · The Handshake Event

One performer insists the other is basically an alien, and the other fires back with a warning.

The words appear when the audience laughs.

Then it's aliens after all!

Textbookそれなら、もう宇宙人じゃないですか。'じゃないか' turns rough as 'じゃねえか' ('ない'→'ねえ'); adding 'よ' makes the classic comeback 'じゃねえかよ！' pointing out a contradiction.

Tone: RoughSpeed: fast
All lines
Audience laughter in this scene0:16
Top Gun · Cotton Swabs

One performer says they keep the cotton swabs at home carefully sorted into different groups.

Culture note Some devoted idol and anime fans buy several copies of the same merchandise: one to use, one to display, and one to keep untouched.

The words appear when the audience laughs.

Don't talk about them like they're an idol.

Textbookアイドルのように言わないでください。'のように' becomes 'みたいに', attached straight to the noun 'アイドル'; '言わないでください' becomes the blunt prohibition '言うなよ'.

Tone: Rough (お前)Speed: normal
All lines
Audience laughter in this scene0:11
Top Gun · Cotton Swabs

The two are debating a 'which one would you save?' question, and a cotton swab is one of the choices.

The words appear when the audience laughs.

You're seriously messed up.

Textbookあなたは本当にどうかしていますね。'やばい' (literally 'dangerous') here means 'crazy, not okay'; 'ほんとに' shortens 'ほんとうに', and final 'な' makes it a blunt exclamation.

Tone: Insult (between friends)Speed: normal
All lines
Audience laughter in this scene0:12
Top Gun · Scary Story

The storyteller explains what they were doing when the ghost in the story showed up.

The words appear when the audience laughs.

Hold on a sec.

Textbookちょっと待ってください。Polite 'ちょっと待ってください' drops 'ください' and switches to the blunt command '待て' plus 'よ': a rough, casual 'wait a sec'.

Tone: BluntSpeed: normal
All lines
Audience laughter in this scene0:15
Top Gun · Handshake Event

Two guys are workshopping a catchphrase, and one pitches a line about 'UFO-catching' everyone's hearts.

Culture note In Japan, claw crane arcade games are called 'UFO catchers.'

The words appear when the audience laughs.

I said I'm not!

Textbookですから、違いますよ。Polite 「違います」 drops to plain 「違う」; the added 「って」 means 'I'm telling you,' turning it into an exasperated denial.

Speed: fast
All lines
Audience laughter in this scene0:14
Top Gun · Handshake Event

The two are arguing about a girl, and one of them has a theory about her name.

The words appear when the audience laughs.

Cut that out!

Textbookそれはやめてください。The polite request 「やめてください」 (te-form + ください) is replaced by the plain imperative 「やめろ」 (stem + ろ), a blunt order used between close friends. The particle 「は」 is also dropped from 「それは」.

Tone: RudeSpeed: normal
All lines
Audience laughter in this scene0:18
Top Gun · The Fired-Up Teacher

In a musical sketch about an overly passionate teacher, one partner complains that the other brought things down far too much.

Culture note 'Dancing Hero' is Yōko Oginome's 1985 disco hit, which became popular again after a 2017 high-school dance-club video.

The words appear when the audience laughs.

Man, that's incredible, it dropped so much!

Textbook下がりすぎていて、本当にすごいですね。'すげー' comes from 'すごい': the '-oi' ending fuses into a long '-ee' ('げー'), a rough casual pronunciation; 'な' adds exclamation.

Tone: RoughSpeed: fast
All lines
Audience laughter in this scene0:11
Top Gun · The Izakaya

A customer keeps getting the wrong things instead of a draft beer, and the staff member says they run the place alone.

The words appear when the audience laughs.

Then you bring it over!

Textbookでは、あなたが持ってきてください。Textbook 「では」 contracts to 「じゃあ」 ('then / in that case'); polite 「持ってきてください」 becomes the blunt command 「持ってこいよ」.

Tone: RoughSpeed: fast
All lines
Audience laughter in this scene0:15
Top Gun · Scary Story

A comedian is telling a ghost story, but the ghost keeps shouting silly words and the partner keeps complaining.

The words appear when the audience laughs.

Super scary, right?

Textbookとても怖いですよね。'とても' is swapped for the casual intensifier 'めちゃくちゃ' ('like crazy'); 'めっちゃ' is its clipped form. The polite 'ですよね' ending stays.

Speed: fast
All lines
Audience laughter in this scene0:13
Top Gun · Handshake Event

One performer insists the other is basically an alien, and the other fires back with a warning.

The words appear when the audience laughs.

Enough already.

Textbookもう結構です。Polite 「もう結構です」 becomes plain 「もういい」 plus 「よ」; in manzai, 「もういいよ」 is the stock line that ends the routine.

Speed: fast
All lines
Audience laughter in this scene0:15
Top Gun · A Potter's Fan

While talking about a man called Kā-kun who now looks very different, one comedian suddenly notices something odd.

The words appear when the audience laughs.

What is that?

Textbookそれは何ですか。'それは何ですか' flips to 'なにそれ': the question word jumps first, 'は' and 'ですか' vanish, and rising tone makes it a startled reaction.

Speed: normal
All lines
Audience laughter in this scene0:16
Top Gun · Scary Story

In a 'scary story' sketch, a ghost keeps shouting weird catchphrases, and the other performer judges which one works better.

Culture note 'Gyaru' is a flashy, trendy fashion subculture of young Japanese women.

The words appear when the audience laughs.

'Yumi Heart' sounds more gyaru, so go with that.

Textbookユミハートのほうがギャルのようなので、それにしてください。'ギャルのようだ' becomes the suffix 'ギャルっぽい' ('gyaru-ish'); 'それね' casually replaces 'それにしてください'.

Speed: fast
All lines

Routines in the library