Ukeru · real Japanese from comedy
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ダックワーズ

Dacquoise
14routines
1,179lines
8scenes

Their lines to steal

Stage forms this act uses in the library, and how often.

Scenes

Audience laughter in this scene0:25
Dacquoise · The ALT Teacher

One performer drums while the other is told to dance the Sōran-bushi and pull on some dreadlocks at the same time.

Culture note Sōran-bushi is a Hokkaido fishermen's folk song, and its dance is often performed at Japanese school events.

The words appear when the audience laughs.

Why does this stretch so much?!

Textbookどうしてこれはこんなに伸びるのですか。'どうして' becomes 'なんで'. 'こんなに' shortens to 'こんな', and '伸びるの' contracts to '伸びんの' (る→ん before の).

Speed: normal
All lines
Audience laughter in this scene0:20
Dacquoise · Pumpkin

One performer agrees to play defense while the other gets ready to take shots on goal.

The words appear when the audience laughs.

Are you looking down on me?

Textbookあなたは私をなめているのですか。「なめているのですか」: 「ている」 shrinks to 「てる」, 「てるの」 slurs to 「てんの」, and 「です」 drops, leaving a blunt 「か」. 「私を」 is left unsaid and 「あなた」 becomes 「お前」, tacked on at the end, which turns the question into a challenge.

Tone: RudeSpeed: normal
All lines
Audience laughter in this scene0:11
Dacquoise · College Starts Today

One person learns that a friend failed the college entrance exam, yet the friend is here anyway.

The words appear when the audience laughs.

Wait, is that allowed again?

Textbookそれでいいのでしたか？「いいのでしたか」 becomes 「いいんだっけ」: 「の」 shrinks to 「ん」, 「でした」 turns plain 「だ」, and 「っけ」 checks a half-remembered rule.

Speed: fast
All lines
Audience laughter in this scene0:12
Dacquoise · Judo Practice

During practice on a mat, something feels off, so one partner checks the mat, then attacks several times in a row.

The words appear when the audience laughs.

Wait a sec!

Textbookちょっと待ってください。Dropping 'ください' from 'ちょっと待ってください' leaves the bare te-form '待って', a casual request; the very formal version is '少々お待ちください'.

Speed: fast
All lines
Audience laughter in this scene0:21
Dacquoise · Buck-Naked Ping-Pong

One player worries that losing this match means retiring, and the other scolds them for thinking about losing in the middle of a match.

The words appear when the audience laughs.

Alright, here we go!

Textbookでは、行きますよ。Formal 'では' contracts to casual 'じゃ', stretched to 'じゃあ' ('alright then'), signaling they're ready to start.

Speed: slow
All lines
Audience laughter in this scene0:16
Dacquoise · The ALT (Assistant Language Teacher)

In a sketch, a foreign English teacher character offers to drum and orders the partner to dance the Soran Bushi while pulling dreadlocks.

Culture note Soran Bushi is a Hokkaido fishermen's folk song; a dance set to it is a staple at Japanese school sports days and festivals.

The words appear when the audience laughs.

What is this? It stretches like crazy!

Textbookこれは何ですか。とても伸びますね。'めっちゃ' (from Kansai 'めちゃくちゃ') replaces 'とても' as a casual intensifier; plain '伸びる' drops polite '伸びます'.

Speed: slow
All lines
Audience laughter in this scene0:15
Dacquoise · Fishing

One person suddenly shouts out a bizarre description of someone, and the other tries to make sense of it.

Culture note Tsuyoshi Nagabuchi is a famous Japanese rock singer known for his tough, macho image.

The words appear when the audience laughs.

What the heck is that?

Textbookそれは何ですか。'それは何ですか' flips to 'なんだそれ': question word first, plain 'だ' for 'ですか', 'それ' tacked on after. A rougher cousin of 'なにそれ'.

Speed: normal
All lines
Audience laughter in this scene0:15
Dacquoise · Judo Practice

During practice on a mat, the first attack feels off, so one partner checks the mat, then attacks several times in a row.

The words appear when the audience laughs.

I knew it!

Textbookやはり、思ったとおりです。Standalone 'やっぱり!' = 'I knew it!'. Textbook 'やはり' gains a small 'っ', and the rest ('思ったとおりです') is simply dropped.

Speed: normal
All lines

Routines in the library